It’s Not About Them

This post is supposed to be a rant. About frustration. About job searches. About politics. And hypocrites.

Specifically, I wanted to rant about how the employment system is broken with opportunities hidden behind HR-speak and candidates trying to out-duel the competition with overused Action Verbs. About how Republicans are always looking backwards, and griping about every cent that something costs – but not really caring because they still spend like drunken sailors. And Democrats only care about how much they can give away, never mind the cost. About how both Democrats and Republicans re-write history to make it fit their narrative and it doesn’t matter that what they said happened, or how they said it happened, didn’t, in fact, happen. About how people that profess a love of Christ-like living spend so much time telling other people to be Christ-like in the most un-Christlike way. I’m ready to let loose on the hypocrisy, the lies, the willful ignorance, the nastiness toward other people.

But then, one of my favorite saying came to my mind.

“It’s not about them, it’s about me.”

I can’t control what others might do or say, but I can control me. And that’s actually all that matters. I can be honest, not just in the facts, but in the context surrounding an issue. I can cheer my team or my cause vs. eviscerating an opposing view. I can tell my story in an authentic way and I can face the future while allowing others their wistful gaze to the past.

There are good things happening. I can choose to recognize them. For example, young companies like Andela, GitHub, and Zapier bring a humanistic narrative/Q&A approach to job/candidate search. An approach that should – and hopefully will – become the norm.

Sometimes it just feels lonely. When other’s don’t share my views, or even allow that my views are equally valid views – not that every idea deserves a place in “my” reality, but that everyone has their own.

Too often, our reactions are negative, a criticism, a reason why something can’t or shouldn’t succeed. Aren’t there more reasons to celebrate and cheer-lead each other than there are to tear down?

So, my full-scaled rant turned into a small-scale, backhanded rant. I’ll count it as progress and recommit to finding the good in others, and in myself.


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